So it doesn't mean 500 days of actual summertime?

No, it doesn't, but that didn't mean that "(500) Days of Summer" was any less fun (and poignant) than a memorable summer day (is that too cheesy? Because I don't think this movie is). Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt bring great chemistry to the screen in this pretty awesome screenplay by Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber. It starts out quirky and cute, and features the narration of a deep-voiced, wizened man introducing us to the main characters, Tom and Summer (of the title). Kind of like a good book does, it gives us some simple facts about each of them- what their backgrounds are, what they did as youngsters, even how tall and what size shoe Summer wears. It's an admirable change from the typical openers of many movies. It draws you in a bit more into caring about these characters, especially Tom. And though it should be noted that the movie jumps around through the 500 days of Tom and Summer's relationship, it doesn't leave the viewer feeling too jilted. In fact, in the same way someone might prep themselves for a first date by recalling past horrors and depression, this movies preps us for Summer and Tom's relationship by letting us know that all does not, in fact, end in roses.
One of the earliest scenes is that of Tom mechincally breaking dish after dish in his kitchen as his two buddies watch on. His precocious young sister is called in to help diffuse the situation, reminding him that he'll find other girls, that Summer wasn't perfect, that just because two people share a taste for the same quirky music doesn't mean they are soul mates. And just because we know that things may not end up the way Tom wants them doesn't mean watching Tom and Summer first get together isn't any less exciting. One of the best scenes is shot with old-school Hall & Oates blasting in the background, and it occurs just after Tom and Summer have had their first sexual encounter. What happens as Tom walks to work the next morning is both liberating and hilarious, and in lesser hands might have seemed corny, but with director Marc Webb, you want to jump right in and join the party.
The movie allows you to leave still hopeful that love that can last is out there, even if it doesn't work out for everyone. It's somewhat insipiring that a movie that shares an affinity for "The Graduate" and "The Seventh Seal" can still leave you hopeful that all that it takes to find the right one is reading a book in a deli and catching the eye of the stranger next to you.

Esther has a secret. Maybe she should see a priest.

I don't even know if a priest could help Esther, she's so far gone. How can a nine-year-old have that many problems, you ask? Well, therein lies the secret, and I'm not going to divulge it to you. You'll just have to see the movie. Which was kind of fun- a little bloodier than I expected, and a little less eerie than I'd hoped (I was thinking more "The Sixth Sense" or "The Others" type thrills). "Orphan" is a decent movie, although it falls victim to far too many horror movie cliches- Violence towards animals? Check. Drives mommy crazy while plays little angel for daddy? Check. Runaway car with helpless child trapped inside? Check. You get the idea.
I began to suspect Esther's secret a little before it was about to be revealed to the audience. Yeah, it's kind of far-fetched. But, duh, this is a horror movie, so everything gets stretched a little thin.
I'd also like to mention the abusement of product placement. When you are more focused on the Lexus SUV than what the character is doing, that's not good for the movie. Good for the product maybe, but mostly I'm just annoyed by Lexus, and I like their cars!
Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard, who play the troubled couple seeking to adopt in order to move past a family tragedy, are solid in their roles, except that I don't know what happened halfway through the movie to Sarsgaard's John. He's likable and fatherly, and then becomes kind of a jackass, distrusting his wife, making her think she's crazy, almost forcing her to go into a locked rehab ward... I guess this really isn't his fault, but that of the writer.
There are a few shockers that you don't quite expect, but all in all, it follows pretty much standard horror procedure. You know, like when you start to relax a little, and then there's another jolt to the system to remind you of where you are.
As for director Jaume Collet-Serra ("House of Wax"), who lingers long enough on certain objects to make you think they might come alive, he could heave cut at least 15 minutes from the film and for the better. It drags, especially towards the beginning, which is where you're really trying to hook your audience. Just because you are developing a story in suburbia in order to lull the viewer into an artificial sense of complacency doesn't mean they are going to jump higher when that first splatter of blood comes along.